Ichigo Birthday Special
by whoosh19
Summary: Old story, est. July 2010 :D It's Ichigo's birthday! Let's see what Karakura town has in store for him, shall we? Rated T for mild language.


Alrightie! This story was finished at 9:00 pm a day before Ichigo's birthday (July 15) in 2010. I posted it on Quizilla the next day. When I got here to FanFiction, I debated on whether or not I should post it. The "yes" side got the better of me ;)) Let me know how I did on this, even though it's pretty old.

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><p>Ichigo Kurosaki stood by his phone, waiting for another damned call.<p>

Today was his birthday, and all the stupid marketers had taken account of it.

"Onii-chan?"

His door opened, and Yuzu walked in.

"Um, somebody came to see you, and Happy Birthday!" she exclaimed, smiling uncontrollably.

"Uh... thanks? And who's here?" Ichigo asked.

"I don't know... he looks... suspicious." Yuzu looked carefully at her frowning brother.

"He? Where is he?"

"Outside."

"Okay, I'm coming."

Yuzu stepped out of Ichigo's room just as the phone rang for the 17th time that morning.

"What the hell? Hello?" he screamed into the phone.

"_H-Hello_, sir-"

"NO! I AM _NOT_ INTERESTED!" he yelled before slamming the phone on the receiver.

Damn telemarketers.

Anyways, Ichigo made his way downstairs to find _Shinji_ _Hirako_ in the Kurosaki's living room.

"Why the hell are you here, Hirako?" Ichigo asked, crossing his arms.

"Awww, Ichigo! Is that any way ta greet someone wantin' ta wish ya 'Happy Birthday'?" he whined in his usual annoying tone.

"Shut the hell up, and get outta my house."

"But I just got here!"

"I don't care! Who told you it was my birthday, anyways?" Ichigo hissed.

"That doesn't matter! Look! I brought you a present!" he exclaimed, grinning mysteriously.

"Oh hell no-"

Ichigo was interrupted by a smack upside the head with a familiar sandal.

"Happy Birthday, Ichigo!" Hiyori yelled.

Ichigo grew a vein.

"Happy frickin' Birthday? Get the hell outta my house!" he roared at her, rubbing his head. She grinned.

"So how old are ya?"

"Definitely younger than you, ya old hag." Shinji burst out laughing at his insult, earning two smacks in the face with Hiyori and her sandal.

"Who the hell was talkin' to ya? _Yer_ the old hag!" she growled.

"Whaaattt? How _dare_ ya, Hiyori!"

"How dare _you_, boke!"

Ichigo groaned.

"_Look_, could you guys-"

"Shut up, Ichigo!" they both yelled, glaring at each other.

Ichigo shut his eyes in agitation as a vein popped out.

"Get the _HELL OUTTA MY HOUSE_!"

"No!"

*Meanwhile on the staircase*

Karin sighed to herself as Yuzu shook her head, covering her mouth with her hand.

"Onii-chan's not having any fun, and it's his birthday," the brunette told her twin.

"Yuzu, this _is_ Ichi-nii's fun. He'll be just fine."

"I don't know, Karin-chan."

"Well go bake a cake or do something to cheer up," she told Yuzu.

"Hmmm... I _should_ bake a cake!" she exclaimed.

Karin smiled slightly at her sister's eagerness.

Later that afternoon...

The phone calls had ceased tremendously, to maybe one or two calls every 30 minutes.

Shinji and Hiyori had left a while ago too, much to Ichigo's relief.

He was currently in the kitchen, looking for something to consume.

"Onii-chan?"

He turned to Yuzu, who held a plate with a small round vanilla cake on it. The cake read, "Happy Birthday".

Ichigo could only wish it was happy.

"I baked a cake for you!"

"Uh, thank you, Yuzu," Ichigo told her. She smiled.

"You're welcome!"

She placed the cake on the counter and walked off.

"Well, at least I have something to eat..."

30 minutes later...

Ichigo's cell phone beeped, signaling a text message. He slid it out from his pocket and flipped it open, pressing the center button.

"...From: Anonymous..." Ichigo said suspiciously.

The message told him to be at the nearest park in 15 minutes.

The orange haired teen stared at his phone for another 2 minutes before sighing and sliding his chair back, standing up.

"You guys, I'm out…" he called to his sisters, walking to the door. Only Yuzu answered him.

"Don't be gone long!"

Ichigo sighed but smiled ever so slightly.

At the park: 1:09 pm… 1 minutes 'til "Anonymous" showed up…

"Okay, I'm here… what the hell…" Ichigo complained to himself.

Since it was an afternoon in July, the temperature was at its peak: 96°F or about 34°C.

In other words, _very hot_.

Ichigo would have sat down on the benches if they weren't out in the heat of the sun for an hour.

"Whoever this is needs to hurry the hell up…"

But of course nothing happened.

So just as he was about to leave, the sound of a loud motor roared to life.

"What the…"

The sky began to turn a nasty pale blue color instead of the azure pigment it usually had. The sun also began turning a dull yellow, and the park in front of Ichigo darkened.

Ichigo's jaw tightened as he hissed a very irritating name.

"Urahara…"

"Oh! So you knew it was me, eh?" the obnoxious man stated.

"Who the hell wouldn't?"

Ichigo turned in the direction Kisuke Urahara's voice had come from, but there was no one there.

"Where are you?"

"Ah, nice question! You won't be able to see me, Kurosaki-san… oh and Happy Birth-"

"No! Do _not_ wish me a Happy Birthday, you ass!"

Ichigo glared as best as he could, but it felt like he was losing his eyesight.

"What did you do to me, Urahara?" he screamed.

"I'm just testing my new generator, the Urahara2000. It's supposed to make the victim immobile in 5 minutes. Is it working?" Urahara inquired mysteriously.

"_Is it working_? Urahara, give me my damn eyesight back!"

Urahara huffed.

"Fine, fine. At least tell me if you could move around as effectively," he requested, turning off the generator.

Ichigo rubbed his eyes as the sky and the park brightened in color.

"Well?" the crazed man probed.

"You are unbelievable, Urahara. WHAT IF I WENT BLIND?" the teen hollered.

"You wouldn't have gone blind, Kurosaki-san. I am a professional, you know."

Urahara came out from behind a large tree about 20 feet away from Ichigo.

"'Professional' my ass. I'm leaving."

Ichigo turned away from the mad scientist and began walking in his home's direction.

"But you didn't tell me a thing about my generator!"

"Who gives a damn? Go back to your store!"

This is how Ichigo's afternoon went.

Later that day: 7:30 pm

"Onii-chan, dinner is ready." Yuzu walked in on Ichigo reading a magazine. He made an intelligible grunt, nodding his head. The younger Kurosaki eyed her brother carefully before strolling out of his room.

Just then, Ichigo's cell phone rang. He looked at the caller ID and did a "huh", seeing it was Orihime Inoue.

"Hello?"

"Y-yeah, Kurosaki-kun! C-could you, um, come over at, uh, 8:15-" There was a voice in the background correcting her.

"Oh, 8:00! Yeah, could you come over to my place at 8:00? Thanks!"

She suddenly hung up, which caused Ichigo to remove the phone from his ear and stare at it blankly.

What in the world was going on?

"Well you sure are eating fast!" Isshin Kurosaki told his son, who was actually eating at a normal pace, which is fast for him.

"Why do you care?" Ichigo shot back, glaring at his father, who, wisely, had not wished him a Happy Birthday.

"I don't… you have a point…"

"Dumbass."

"Excuse me! Is that any way to talk to your father?"

"Is it not?"

"You are back talking me again?"

"Shut up, and finish your food, Dad," Karin said calmly.

"Karin! Please do not take after your older brother's foolish rants."

"I won't say it again. _Shut up and finish your food_." Karin looked straight into the eyes of her father.

"Well then, I'm off," Ichigo said to no one in particular, clearing his spot at the table.

"Are you going out?" Yuzu asked while Isshin said something to Karin about respect and manners.

"Yeah, Inoue called earlier to go to her place."

Isshin's ears perked up at the name "Inoue", much to Ichigo's dismay.

"At 7:50 pm? What in the world are you going to do?"

"Stop jumping to stupid conclusions, idiot," the teen told his father. As Isshin was about to retort, Yuzu beat him to it.

"Dad, it's his birthday. I wouldn't be surprised at this," she told him.

"Well… if you think so, Yuzu…"

"Bye, Ichi-nii," Karin said, ignoring her dad's thoughts.

"Ah. I'll be back," Ichigo told his sisters before walking out of his house, faintly hearing his father complaining about the lack of respect he has.

"What an idiot…"

8:00 pm: At Orihime Inoue's house

Ichigo wasn't surprised when Rangiku Matsumoto answered Orihime's door. He wasn't even surprised when he saw decorations around the small apartment.

But he was surprised when he saw Urahara's "entourage", which was composed of Yoruichi Shihoin, Tessai Tsukabishi, Urahara, and even Ururu and Jinta, and then Uryuu Ishida and Yasutora Sado, and Shuhei Hisagi and Izuru Kira! Why the hell is everyone squished in poor Orihime's apartment? God, who knows?

"…"

Ichigo stood there in the doorway, looking past Rangiku and into the apartment.

"Well, come on in, Birthday Boy!" she yelled, grinning as she pulled him in. Ichigo scowled at her before noticing _Orihime_ in the _kitchen_.

Oh, _hell_ no.

"Inoue, Inoue! What are you doing? And why is everyone here?" Ichigo asked as he approached the kitchen rather quickly.

Better safe than sorry, and prevention is better than cure.

Especially concerning pairings like Orihime Inoue and the kitchen.

"Oh, Kurosaki-kun, Happy Birthday!" she called out.

"Yeah, thanks, but what are you doing?"

"What do you mean 'What am I doing'? I'm cooking!"

Ichigo sweat-dropped.

"How about we order something instead? There's… a lot of us today."

"Okay! I had something new in mind that I wanted to try to make, but ordering is fine with me!"

Oh my God. Something new?

Ichigo struggled to smile correctly.

"T-that's good. Where's Rukia?"

"Happy Birthday, Ichigo!"

Rukia's voice rang out from behind the orange haired teen.

Ichigo turned to tell her to keep it down, but a huge wrapped box was in his face.

"Open it!" Rukia pleaded.

"O-okay…"

And this began his present-opening period.

This is the list of presents Ichigo Kurosaki received:

A huge Chappy the Rabbit plush doll from Rukia.

A white T-shirt with a small Quincy symbol on the back from Ishida.

A pair of shoes from Chad.

A 30% off coupon to Urahara's shop from Tessai, Ururu, Jinta, and Urahara himself.

A new lunch box from Orihime.

A chain with a small sword charm on it from Kira and Hisagi.

Nothing from Yoruichi (which Ichigo thought was just fine).

Nothing from Renji either, who had appeared as the presents were being opened.

And… oh God…a pair of boxers from Rangiku Matsumoto.

It really shouldn't have surprised him that Matsumoto would give him something as... nevermind.

Anyways, as obnoxious as his gifts got, he thanked each person in his own way, which doesn't necessarily mean a "thank you".

Take Urahara for example.

*After receiving Urahara's gift*

"What the hell is this? A coupon to your crappy store? I don't need this! It's not a deal anyways! I can go to the convenience store just a block away from here and get a better price there without a damn coupon! You know what? I _will_ keep it! Find something to use against you with! Damn bastard."

Or even Rukia.

*After looking into the gift box*

"Take it back. There is _no_ way in hell this is coming home with me, oh, _hell_ no. Save it and give it to Yuzu or something. My God…"

And there were some awkward silences, too.

Like Chad's.

*After opening the shoe box*

"…..Well… at least now I have new shoes… thanks…"

Or Ishida's.

"…..A… Quincy shirt? Totally original, Ishida."

In any case, Ichigo somehow accepted each present, and the worst was over.

Well, he thought so anyways.

Orihime's door then burst open, and a large amount of familiar faces rushed in.

"What the hell?"

Okay, so basically all of Soul Society washed up on the shores of Orihime Inoue's house.

In other words, they crashed the party (or lack thereof).

And literally all of Soul Society was here. We're talking Marechiyo who dragged _Soifon_, Unohana and Isane, Hanataro, the Shiba's, _Byakuya_, Hinamori and Hitsugaya, Kenpachi and his crew of Yachiru, Yumichika, and Ikkaku, _Komamura_ and Iba, the Kurotsuchi's, Kyoraku, Nanao Ise, and Ukitake with an unlimited amount of sweets.

Ask Ichigo how everybody fit in the small apartment…

Just like sardines.

"May I ask again, WHAT THE HELL?" Ichigo hollered.

Of course everybody was silent until Yachiru yelled out, "PARTAY!"

Immediately some music started, and everybody began to socialize.

"Don't worry, Ichigo… I asked them to come. It's not a party without awesome crashers!" Matsumoto told Ichigo.

"After this is all over… Matsumoto… I am going to MURDER YOUR ASS."

Matsumoto laughed and patted the teen's head.

"Sorry, Birthday Boy, not gonna happen."

"Would you stop-"

"Kurosaki-kun!" Orihime's voice rang out. Ichigo turned around to see Orihime rushing towards him with a look of panic.

"There's too many people here! What if some important people walk in?"

Ichigo was about to tell her to go complain to Matsumoto, when Urahara overheard and butted in.

"My, my, what a group! Are you sure your apartment can handle all these Shinigami? C'mon, let's move the party to my place. How does that sound?" Urahara grinned, fanning himself oh-so-annoyingly but Orihime was oblivious to it.

"Yes! Thank you, Urahara-san!"

"No problem!"

Immediately the scientist (no longer mad, since Mayuri is in the house) snapped his fingers, the music stopped and the dimmed lights were back on.

"Fellow Shinigami, is it crowded in here or what? Let's take it to my place!"

The crowd murmured to themselves before Yachiru yelled, "PARTAY AT SANDAL-HAT'S!"

This is when the real hell started.

It was 9:30 at that time, and nothing was settled until 10:25, when everyone was securely under Urahara's shop.

Ichigo knew he wouldn't be returning earlier than 1:00 am, so he sent a text to Yuzu's cell phone, to tell her he was alright since she liked to worry a lot. He also mentioned to tell Karin the same if she asked.

"Kurosaki! Get your ass over here and let's play some Poker!"

Ichigo couldn't tell who called him, but does it really matter? The point was that this triggered the games period of the party.

Ichigo played so many games of Poker he couldn't keep count. He couldn't keep count of the money (which was useless to him, since it's from Soul Society) he won either.

He checked his phone for the time and realized Yuzu had replied, asking him when he was coming back. He typed in 'who knows' before sending the message, allowing him to see the time.

_12:15?_

At that second, the surround sound in the enormous underground training room faltered

and the artificial light shut off, causing everyone to go silent.

_Great_.

Ichigo was about to get Urahara when a familiar laugh filled the _entire room_ (and that place is HUGE, so imagine the laugh).

"No frickin' way…"

The laugh belonged to Grimmjow Jeagerjaques.

What the hell was he doing here?

Ichigo stood up and began walking in the direction of Grimmjow's voice.

"_Grimmjow?_"

"Can't believe it's me, huh?"

The lights flickered on, and the familiar blue haired arrancar appeared along with _Ulquiorra_, Starrk, Lilynette, and Neliel.

Oh, and the Vizards, too.

Immediately Ichigo looked over to Matsumoto, who was quite far from the commotion, actually… about a couple hundred yards. He saw her shrug with a worried expression on her face.

Okay, these guys are _real_ crashers.

Ichigo sighed, shaking in exasperation.

"Why can't anybody have a normal party around here? And _Hirako_? 'The hell are you here?"

Shinji looked panic-stricken as Ichigo dashed towards him, trying to clobber his head. He took off then, Ichigo hot on his heels.

"Get your ass back over here!"

While Ichigo chased Shinji, Mashiro popped out from behind Kensei and yelled in unison with Yachiru, "PARTAY!"

And, as expected, the music turned back on, and everybody adapted to the new comers.

Well, at about 1:00 am, Matsumoto brought out her Sake and whatnot, and everybody who did not have common sense or who was not already asleep began to play "I Never".

Oh, God, of course it only left out Byakuya, Ulquiorra, Hachi, Komamura, Yachiru, Ukitake, and Soifon. Unohana, Isane, and Hanataro left much earlier. The Kurotsuchi's also left (due to scientific reasons), and The Shiba's were planning to move later that morning, so they were gone. Most of Urahara's crew had gone back up to call it quits for the night, since they had to work the next day (that's Urahara the cheapskate for you). Only Yoruichi and Urahara stayed. But yeah, most of them were playing. Orihime and Hinamori even got Ishida and Hitsugaya to play.

And "I Never" is a dangerous game to play, if you are as carefree as Matsumoto.

To play, a person says what they've never done, and everybody else who has done it takes a sip out of the sake. The point of the game is to stay sober for as long as you can.

Of course, for people like Hisagi and even Kira, that isn't gonna be very long.

Orihime started.

"I've never…flashed anybody before."

That one had many people passing the sake around… the only ones who didn't drink were Kensei, Starrk, Nel, Ichigo, Nanao, Ishida, Chad, Hitsugaya, Hinamori, and Yumichika.

And of course, the game went on.

Surprisingly, Ichigo wasn't all that sober by the end of the game. Things like, "I've never hated a family member" and, "I've never cussed at an instructor" got him.

Actually, he was very woozy and collapsed on the ground.

"Well, it looks like the celebrant's out…" Urahara stated.

Everybody stared at Ichigo silently.

Yachiru, who had been snacking on Ukitake's candy, got up and yelled, "PARTAY WITHOUT ICCHI!"

And, as expected, the party went on.

At home: 5:00 am

Ichigo walked into his home, tired and feeling like shit.

"ICHIGO KURO-"

"SHUT THE HELL UP! I HAVE A HEADACHE!"

More like a hangover.

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><p>Personally, I think it's pretty rambly, but that was a year and a half ago, so, I've definitely improved (I hope!) What do you think? (RATE AND REVIEW!)<p> 


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